It's been a while ...

Sooo ... I know, I didn't post anything for months ... 5 months to be more precise !

When I moved to Dublin 5 months ago, I found it really hard to get used to this new lifestyle. I took the bus everyday for about 1H30 and I was absolutely exausted after a day at work ! I struggled to find a balance between work, studies (because I still have to write my thesis) and social life. Because being on my own in a new city, far from my loved ones made me feel lonely and depressed (sometimes ^^) ...

I really wanted to post something, but I wanted to make things properly. I still read some of my favorite blogs but I think I needed a sort of break. Not just blogging ... I mean, I needed to figure what I wanted to do with my life, my priorities, my goals ... It took me some weeks, it has been really hard sometimes, but I needed it.

This internship is one of the greatest work experience I never had. I have learn so much about the tourism industry but also about myself. When I started my masters, I felt so depressed and unqualified. I never studied it and I struggled a lot. I wanted to quit and I felt weak and out of my comfort zone. My internship made me realise that I was qualified enough to work in that field. That I loved it and that even if studies are not what will make me a professional, I needed them to reach my goals. I feel much more confident now, and I know that I can do whatever I want if I really want it !

I actually realised that when my manager told me to apply for a position within the company. That was a big decision to make, because I had to see with Guillaume if he was ready to follow me in Ireland, if I wanted to quit my studies to start working full time ... What did I want ? What was  home for me ? Did I really want to do this alone ?  I had an awful couple of days figuring this out .. And once I saw things clearer, I realised I needed to come home, because right now, home is with my man I love. I am only 21, I want to have time to make the biggest decisions in my life such as moving in a foreign country for a year or more. And I have to finish what I started.

So, basically, this is what happened in the last couple of weeks ! I travelled a bit, but I will post about that later ! I am now eager to get a fresh start and to blog again :)

When life becomes a challenge

I am living my last weeks in France and things finally seem to go back on track ! It's a sort of revival: I swear, it feels like spring is coming or something, but for the first time in a while, I can hear the birds singing by my window. This morning, I just have the wonderful feeling that everything's gonna be ok ... :)

I had two rough weeks lately, because of my departure, because I couldn't find an accommodation, because I was too stressed and had too much work to do. The deadlines are coming really soon, but I feel that everything is well organised in my mind and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, I am worried because what's next is challenging !

Two months ago, I took one of the biggest decisions in my life: I have decided to leave Guillaume and move back to Ireland for five months. This time, I'll be working and living with complete strangers. I'll be out of my comfort zone in an unknown environment. But if I can't do that when I am 21, when will I ? I want to prove myself that I can be in a relationship but that I can be independent in my professional life as well. And I should do that now, because we are still studying, we have no real boundaries here in France, no child, no house, no pets, no jobs. We have our families, but Ireland is not that far, is it ?

So here I am, wondering about the things I want to do (and eat) before I go. Wondering about how it will be to work with Irish and international colleagues, if I will manage my budget or make friends. I love Ireland so much that, deep inside, it makes me hopeful ... It's like my second home, so nothing's gonna be wrong ! Maybe I will never want to leave ! I just keep thinking that life is scary sometimes, but also full of surprises. And no matter what's next, it will always come out with something good ! All we need is a little bit of faith ...

Goodbye 2013 ! Hello 2014 !

2013 has been a very special year to me. From January to May, I had the experience of a lifetime and had the chance to live in my dream country: Ireland. I took my small car all along the Brittany coasts, took a boat for 18 hours and learnt how to drive on the left side. I have lived for four months with incredible people who were and will always be a great inspiration in my life: my uncle, my aunt and my cousin. I have spent quality time with Zoe and get closer to her, I now consider her as a little sister. I have also met new people and rediscovered others. For the first time in my life, I have realized that some of my friends were really important to me, that I could rely on them no matter the distance or our past.

In 2013, I have been away from Guillaume for four months, for the second time since we are together. This time, he has been the one waiting for me to come home. He has been incredibly patient and supportive, he opened up about his feelings and his fears. And he has been a wonderful boyfriend in the good as in the bad moments. This year was a huge step forward for us, since we moved together in September. After dreaming of it for a year or so, we found the perfect little place for the both of us. It took me time to realize how much I loved it, how cozy it was and that actually, it was our home. We have also celebrated our third year as a couple !

In 2013, I got my bachelor degree in English and finished up a three years program in my former university. I passed with pretty good grades, which gave me the opportunity to enter in a master in tourism. I remember how excited I was when I was accepted ! I moved to a new city, went to a new university and studied new courses. But actually, things did not turn that well ... I could not say if it was a good or a bad thing. This is probably a lesson I should learn from last year: never take things for granted. It is not because you succeed in one thing that you will always be successful. Even if you struggle, you have to do your best and fight for your dreams and what you believe in.

I wish 2014 will be as good as 2013, because even if I felt hopeless and confused sometimes, I have been lucky and I am thankful for all the wonderful moments I had and shared with amazing people ! I want 2014 to be about love, friendship and success (big word, but I just want to prove myself that I can do it !). In 2014, I will also be healthier, because love is also about loving myself and treating my body well. I am also really concerned about the spiritual side of it, so I will stop thinking of those who have been hurting me in the past. I will try to forgive and forget. In 2014, I will be more of an adult than a girl. I will be more mature and responsible; I want to be a good person.

To all of you who are stopping by and reading me, I wish you a Happy New Year. I wish you health, happiness, love and success ! May 2014 be yours ;)

Live, Love, Laugh

There have been so many things going on since we moved in ! I started college, homeworks and researches for my essais to write. I feel like I don't fit in, as if I was an outsider ... I have been really stressed over the last few weeks, ans I have to say, I have a love/hate relation with pressure. 

I like being busy, feeling like a super-business-woman, writing endless to-do-lists, reaching goals ... I have to admit, I like to dream big and make things happen ! BUT, I also feel stuck within the tone of work and studies I have to do and I can't move on. This is actually how i feel at the moment, I have so many things to do I don't even know where to start. And this is affecting my creativity so much that I don't have time to post anything and don't feel inspired anymore ... 

I have to say, it is hard to find time to go to class, study at home, have a drink with my friends, find an internship and spend time with Guillaume. Luckily, he is perfect ! He does the cleaning, cooks for me when I go home, deals with the laundry :)  He reminds me everyday that he is proufd of me and tells me that I can do whatever I want if I do my best. 

Cliff of Moher, Ireland
March 2013

               

Living together is the best thing that happened to us after being apart for so long ... We wanted it so bad, it almost hurt when we are not together. I love the idea that he will be home when I come back after 7 hours of class, that he will cook and we will spend the evening drinking tea while watching Game of Thrones ! This is so perfect that being away from him hurts. It is the first night I am having on my own since we moved in together (Guillaume is visiting his family for the week-end) and I am feeling lost ! As if my entire world was empty ! Hopefully, he will be back on Sunday and the flat will be quiet to study ! Ah Ah.

Well, being on my own is not that bad, I guess having some time in private with ourselves always help. Tonight, I have realised how much I love my family and how much I miss them. I am used to be independant and away from my parents, but I really miss talking to them, having their pieces of advice about my studies or my choices. I also skyped my Irish family tonight, and I really miss them. Living with them was a pure moment of happiness, I enjoy the serenity in their home, their little rituals and I really feel that love is in every corner :)  

Gwendoline & Lucie <3
Aran Island, Ireland. April 2013

Also, I am really greatful for all the true friends I have met in the last couple of years. We had upside downs, I doubted a lot, sometimes I felt hurt or betrayed but they are still here and we made it through the negativity of some people, the gossips and the distance. When Guillaume and my family are not there, I know I can trust and count on them. They are my second family and for the first time of my life, I have reliable and kind friends around me.

I love you all, even if I do not say it aloud.

I switch blog as I change clothes

In the past few days, I have been reading many blogs in English, from America and Great-Britain and I felt like opening and writing my own blog, but this time, in English.

Little me in October 1994 ... First trip to Ireland !

I am a French girl, with a degree in English Literature and Civilisation who had always had a passion for travelling and for the Anglosaxon culture. As far as I can remember, I have always been around English speaking people, from my childhood until now, and this language and this culture have been cradling me for ever. Also, I am crazy about Ireland, which I have visited at least ten times ! My relatives live there, I have been au pairing twice, spent four months as an Erasmus student, met incredible people and amazing friends. Sometimes I even feel like I was born in the wrong country !

Prom Night in Ireland ... A dream coming true !
March 2013 

I live in the West of France and my life is quite ... typical ! I am still studying and I will start a Master in tourism hospitality management in a few days ... I am about to move in with my boyfriend for (nearly) three years, Guillaume, which is a big step forward for the both of us ! My family and my friends are essential to my happiness and I try to be there for them as much as I can, no matter the distance or the ordeals ...

I have decided to write this blog in English as I have discovered many inspiring blogs ... They represent everything I love about the Anglosaxon culture: the American Dream, love, family, feminity, values ... I love the fact that these women are devoted to their husband or boyfriend, their family, their friends. That they share their tips about the everyday life as a married woman, or simply a grown-up woman. They inspire me, because I feel that I am in a period of transition, slowy moving from a dreamy teenage girl to a responsible woman. I feel lost in my dreams, my ambitions, my future and I aspire to be a better person. In every way. I want to be a better daughter, a better friend, a better girlfriend. I dislike the way we see life and things in France, especially nowadays with the recession. I want to be positive and blooming. I want to enjoy life and see its good sides. I want to have faith in the future and in the world ...

Guillaume and I, Disneyland Paris
 November 2012

PS: Sorry about the mistakes, I am still learning !

 Do not hesitate to leave a comment, I will be more than happy to answer you :)