Live, Love, Laugh

There have been so many things going on since we moved in ! I started college, homeworks and researches for my essais to write. I feel like I don't fit in, as if I was an outsider ... I have been really stressed over the last few weeks, ans I have to say, I have a love/hate relation with pressure. 

I like being busy, feeling like a super-business-woman, writing endless to-do-lists, reaching goals ... I have to admit, I like to dream big and make things happen ! BUT, I also feel stuck within the tone of work and studies I have to do and I can't move on. This is actually how i feel at the moment, I have so many things to do I don't even know where to start. And this is affecting my creativity so much that I don't have time to post anything and don't feel inspired anymore ... 

I have to say, it is hard to find time to go to class, study at home, have a drink with my friends, find an internship and spend time with Guillaume. Luckily, he is perfect ! He does the cleaning, cooks for me when I go home, deals with the laundry :)  He reminds me everyday that he is proufd of me and tells me that I can do whatever I want if I do my best. 

Cliff of Moher, Ireland
March 2013

               

Living together is the best thing that happened to us after being apart for so long ... We wanted it so bad, it almost hurt when we are not together. I love the idea that he will be home when I come back after 7 hours of class, that he will cook and we will spend the evening drinking tea while watching Game of Thrones ! This is so perfect that being away from him hurts. It is the first night I am having on my own since we moved in together (Guillaume is visiting his family for the week-end) and I am feeling lost ! As if my entire world was empty ! Hopefully, he will be back on Sunday and the flat will be quiet to study ! Ah Ah.

Well, being on my own is not that bad, I guess having some time in private with ourselves always help. Tonight, I have realised how much I love my family and how much I miss them. I am used to be independant and away from my parents, but I really miss talking to them, having their pieces of advice about my studies or my choices. I also skyped my Irish family tonight, and I really miss them. Living with them was a pure moment of happiness, I enjoy the serenity in their home, their little rituals and I really feel that love is in every corner :)  

Gwendoline & Lucie <3
Aran Island, Ireland. April 2013

Also, I am really greatful for all the true friends I have met in the last couple of years. We had upside downs, I doubted a lot, sometimes I felt hurt or betrayed but they are still here and we made it through the negativity of some people, the gossips and the distance. When Guillaume and my family are not there, I know I can trust and count on them. They are my second family and for the first time of my life, I have reliable and kind friends around me.

I love you all, even if I do not say it aloud.

Letter to my Boyfriend #1

Before your departure to England - January 2012

Dear Guillaume,

When we first met, things were a bit complicated. I was not ready for a relationship and everything was confusing, but deep inside, I knew it was love at first sight. When I saw you that night, I felt something. There were thirty unknown people in that room and yet we talked for hours. I remember when you took my hand so I won't get lost in that nightclub. I remember the electricity in the air. After a few weeks, we started dating, but I wanted some time on my own so I told you I needed space ... But gave you my key anyway ! Then, my flat became yours and we have been dreaming of officially moving in together ever since. It was three years ago ... Then you went to England, I  travelled to Ireland, you moved to another city and we spent the summer appart. How many anniversaries, birthdays, celebrations did we miss ? I do not even remember, I stopped counting, because all that mattered was that in September 2013, we will finally be together. I have been working hard to enter my dream master, so I could study what I really like and move in with you.

Our first anniversary in the Île de Ré

And here we are, moving in together tomorrow afternoon. We talked about it so much I do not even realize this is actually happening ! I will start everyday next to you, have breakfast, lunch and dinner with you, fall asleep in your arms while watching a movie and lay down by your side at night. I won't have to be away from you anymore, and I won't feel alone in my cold bed during winter time. I won't be lonely, because you will be there. We won't miss my birthday, our anniversary or Valentine's Day because our schedules do not allow us to see each other. Distance won't be an issue.

First trip to Ireland together - April 2011

This sounds perfect, but I know it won't be that easy. I promise I will stay calm when you won't clean the flat, because I know I am too maniac. I promise I will share the wardrobe with you, because I know how many clothes I own ! I promise I will prepare you breakfast on Sunday mornings and yes, I will go to the bakery to buy french baguette and croissants, even if I am ugly when I wake up and hate rushing outside without any makeup on. I promise I will surprise you everyday, even after a long day at school, even when I will be tired or sick. I promise I will do my best to make you happy, to make you forget about the hardness of life, to make you feel safe. Because I love you and I promise I will always do. 

TGIF !

Last day of work !

I have been so busy lately between my job, studying and packing for the moving that I did not realize time was flying. Every day looked the same: I was sitting at the desk, waiting for the tourists to ask me the same questions all over again: "where is the harbour ?" or "do you have a map for cycling in the area ?". It has been pretty quiet, but I had a lot in my mind. It is only today at noon that I realized my summer job was over. I have spent two summers working at the tourist office with an amazing team (with whom I celebrated the end of the season tonight). It is weird to think that I will never work there again because I really felt comfortable, surrounded by friends (which I know is rare in the working world).

I got the chance to try on my new sunglasses ... Oh sunny day !

Now it's time to start a new adventure: moving in with my boyfriend ! Filling in the papers for the flat was not easy and we disagreed on many things, but I am trying to be patient and understanding. We have been dreaming of having our home for two years now and this dream grew bigger as we lived a long distance relationship for nearly a year and a half. I have only seen him once this month, and a few times within the summer and living together in a small flat is going to be challenging. It is exciting and scarry at the same time, but we will do our best to make it work. I really want to make up for missing Valentine's Day, his birthday and our anniversary last year ... We have been away for each other for too long and have so many things to catch up !

... and a new haircut !

Starting a master in university is also a huge challenge as I have been studying literature for five years now and will start marketing and management in a few days. It is brand new and I am quite stressed about failing ... I am also anxious as I am going to a new university in a new city ... Woh, so many new things happening in a few days ! I hope I will stay calm and in control ! For now, I am going to pack, clean my car and spend time with my family over our traditional Saturday dinner ! Have a nice week-end !