August Goals

Heya !

I have a confession to make ... I am feeling awful for leaving this blog for so long ! I was thinking about posting all the time, but I really felt that the last couple of months were a sort of break from my ordinary life. I had to put my life in "stand by" and wait until things get back to normal. It truly was an incredible experience, but now I am feeling ready to move on. The back to school season is coming soon, and I can't believe it will be my last year in university. I feel like there are a lot of things I have to change in my life right now. It is time ! And what is better than having some goals for this new month ? :)

August Goals:

• Write my thesis and my report
• Sign up to the public library
• Go to the farmer market
• Have breakfast in bed
• Order pizzas from Domino's (missed them too much !)
• Go to the beach
• Donate blood
• Loose weight

Basically, this month will be challenging for me. I will come home in two days now (still can't believe it) after being abroad for five months. I have never been away from home and from my family for so long. Of course, Guillaume came to visit (that was four months ago) and my family came in May. But still. I haven't seen France, my brother, my dog and my friends since March. So August will be about spending time with my loved ones and relaxing. Also, I am planning to start a diet (yeap, I said it). Diet is such a big word ! I really want to have a healthier way of life: eat better and exercise more. I feel that it is time for a big change, and I am ready for it !

What are your goals for August ?

It's been a while ...

Sooo ... I know, I didn't post anything for months ... 5 months to be more precise !

When I moved to Dublin 5 months ago, I found it really hard to get used to this new lifestyle. I took the bus everyday for about 1H30 and I was absolutely exausted after a day at work ! I struggled to find a balance between work, studies (because I still have to write my thesis) and social life. Because being on my own in a new city, far from my loved ones made me feel lonely and depressed (sometimes ^^) ...

I really wanted to post something, but I wanted to make things properly. I still read some of my favorite blogs but I think I needed a sort of break. Not just blogging ... I mean, I needed to figure what I wanted to do with my life, my priorities, my goals ... It took me some weeks, it has been really hard sometimes, but I needed it.

This internship is one of the greatest work experience I never had. I have learn so much about the tourism industry but also about myself. When I started my masters, I felt so depressed and unqualified. I never studied it and I struggled a lot. I wanted to quit and I felt weak and out of my comfort zone. My internship made me realise that I was qualified enough to work in that field. That I loved it and that even if studies are not what will make me a professional, I needed them to reach my goals. I feel much more confident now, and I know that I can do whatever I want if I really want it !

I actually realised that when my manager told me to apply for a position within the company. That was a big decision to make, because I had to see with Guillaume if he was ready to follow me in Ireland, if I wanted to quit my studies to start working full time ... What did I want ? What was  home for me ? Did I really want to do this alone ?  I had an awful couple of days figuring this out .. And once I saw things clearer, I realised I needed to come home, because right now, home is with my man I love. I am only 21, I want to have time to make the biggest decisions in my life such as moving in a foreign country for a year or more. And I have to finish what I started.

So, basically, this is what happened in the last couple of weeks ! I travelled a bit, but I will post about that later ! I am now eager to get a fresh start and to blog again :)

March Goals

I haven't been posting on my blog for ages ! There were no February goals since it was my last month in France and my only world was: ENJOY. Yes, February has been all about enjoying the simple moments of life. I have spent only two week-ends at my family's, but we cooked and had dinner together, with Guillaume as well, and it was great. We had friends coming over some Saturday night for pizzas and waffles. Was February all about eating ? Maybe ! That would explain why I can't fit into my jeans anymore. But I don't really care. This month was about letting myself go and do things I won't be allowed or able to do in the next few months.

Baking Donut's with Dad

So, March will be a big change for me. New country, new city, new job ... I am really excited about this new experience. Of course, my main goal is to make a good impression at my internship and learn a lot of new things. I am also planing on visiting my family (Zoe is performing at the end of the month)  and I have a couple of friends to see in Dublin.

My March Goals:

• Visit my uncle, aunt and cousin
• Celebrate Saint Paddy's day
• Visit one new place in Ireland
• Work on my thesis 
• Save money
• Loose weight

What are your goals for this new month ? :)

When life becomes a challenge

I am living my last weeks in France and things finally seem to go back on track ! It's a sort of revival: I swear, it feels like spring is coming or something, but for the first time in a while, I can hear the birds singing by my window. This morning, I just have the wonderful feeling that everything's gonna be ok ... :)

I had two rough weeks lately, because of my departure, because I couldn't find an accommodation, because I was too stressed and had too much work to do. The deadlines are coming really soon, but I feel that everything is well organised in my mind and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, I am worried because what's next is challenging !

Two months ago, I took one of the biggest decisions in my life: I have decided to leave Guillaume and move back to Ireland for five months. This time, I'll be working and living with complete strangers. I'll be out of my comfort zone in an unknown environment. But if I can't do that when I am 21, when will I ? I want to prove myself that I can be in a relationship but that I can be independent in my professional life as well. And I should do that now, because we are still studying, we have no real boundaries here in France, no child, no house, no pets, no jobs. We have our families, but Ireland is not that far, is it ?

So here I am, wondering about the things I want to do (and eat) before I go. Wondering about how it will be to work with Irish and international colleagues, if I will manage my budget or make friends. I love Ireland so much that, deep inside, it makes me hopeful ... It's like my second home, so nothing's gonna be wrong ! Maybe I will never want to leave ! I just keep thinking that life is scary sometimes, but also full of surprises. And no matter what's next, it will always come out with something good ! All we need is a little bit of faith ...

Since the beginning of the week, I have been worrying and complaining all the time. Because I have failed my exams, because I was tired, because I didn't have an accommodation in Dublin yet ... It's been really hard to bear all this anger and frustration. And yesterday morning, my world fell apart. I am filled with emotion as one of my friends' dad has cancer. So today, I wanted to write about someone special. Someone who's been there a lot for me: my good friend Adeline. She probably doesn't even know that I am writing this blog and she might never read this post. But whatever. She is such a good person that I want to tell you about her and how much she means to me.

When I first met her, she had this sort of halo surrounding her that made me feel safe and peaceful. The first second I saw her, I wanted to become her friend. I have always admired her, because first of all, let's be honest, she is a beautiful girl. She is not the skinny bimbo type, but yet she's gorgeous. And do you know why ? Because she loves herself the way she is, and because she has a good heart. I really appreciate her for being honest and true. Unlike other college girls, she is not gossiping or complaining all the time (and I admit, I am sometimes). She is optimistic and always encouraging her friends. Two years ago, I've been through a tough period when Guillaume was away in England. Adeline was the only person I could talk about my problems, because she is not the kind of person who will speak behind your back. I realized she was a good listener, a good confidant, but that she had been through a lot as well, which had made her stronger. Adeline is the kind of person who would change your life, make you grow up and see life completely differently...

This makes me feel terrible. Why does she have to go through this ? And how can I help her ? I suddenly feel stupid and childish. In these hard times, you realize that life is so fragile and so tough. I am just feeling tiny and useless ... I know you don't know her, but if you have read this, please think and pray for her and her family in this difficult moment of their life. Thank you,